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Satanic Rites 3
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Satanic Rites - Issue 3 (1992-11-24)(Destiny).adf
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sicko
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1990-01-05
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{2{dBLACK MAGIC{a{1
{eAn article by {cKIWI/DESTINY
{eN.B. {fThis article was written in response to {cD-Icelord's {a"Magic Experience."
I accept {eno {aresponsibility for this article, or any results arising from
its publication. {cDon't take it too seriously, huh?
{a OK, let's begin.
{aIf you're aiming to become a proficient student of the black arts - and I
emphasise that one is always a student as only his {eSatanic Majesty {afully
understands the complexities involved - you will need certain qualities.
Firstly, insanity is a definite requirement. {f"Sanity" {ais a euphomism
developed by mankind to excuse narrow-minded capitalist materialism. If you
consider yourself to be sane, stop reading now.
Secondly, an insatiable bloodlust and deep-rooted hatred for the human race
is a great help. I obtained this when the {cTory party {awon the general election
earlier this year, and it has aided my black magic studies considerably.
Finally, a {emorally indefensible {asick sense of humour will help you in times
of crisis - as will a fatalistic attitude. When pursued by a demon, for
example, it's so comforting to think "{fIt had to happen sooner or later,{a" or "{eI
bet he drinks Domestos multi-surface cleanser.{a"
If you find you don't conform to these descriptions the best advice I can
give is to kill yourself. See {cD-Icelord's {aarticle "{eHow to commit suicide{a" in
SR#2.
So here we are, ready to get started. First, why don't we try causing a
little accident?
Have you ever caught yourself imagining the spontaneous molecular
dissolution of someone you don't really like much? {fOf course you have.{a It's
only human (?), but what can you do about it?
We're going to try and cause a car accident. Walk down to the nearest car-
park with a {ered wax candle {aand a {ebox of matches{a. It might be an idea to take
some Bounty bars and cans of Coke in case you get hungry hanging around, but
hopefully you won't have to wait long. When you get there, find a nice spot-
say by the ticket machine and set up your stuff. First, set the candle alight
and, using the molten wax, daub a pentagram on the ground. Make sure you
never leave the parameter of the mystic polygon, or the spell will be broken.
Sit down and meditate for a few minutes to compose yourself.
Now wait until a small child comes past. It's funnier if his mother is
nearby, because they can always raise a laugh. I find little girls better
than boys. Entice them over with that classic chat-up line:
{c "Hello little girl. Would you like a sweetie, sweetie?"
{a As soon as she walks within the pentagram, grab her arm and roll up her
sleeve. It's best if you make growling noises. Then bite deep into her soft
flesh until you draw blood and it stains your teeth and highlights your lips.
when her mother comes over, just say something like:
{c "Sorry, I thought it was someone else!"
{aThe mother will probably go for a policeman, so don't take your time.
The girl has played her part, but the magic will only last about 5 mins.
so if the ritual is not completed within this time, you will need to entice
another little darling over.
Now hang around until some man or woman drives in with a couple of kids
sitting in the back. As they pass the pentagram, chant these words:
{f "Oh Satan, give me strength of mind
To make the able crippled and the seeing blind,
Let me hate vehemently as I should
More than Gloria Hunniford!
Oh please lord Satan, bestow on me
More vengeance than in LSD."
{a If Satan thinks you're a cool guy, you should feel a burning power enflame
within you. Now point a finger at the driver of the vehicle and scream the
words:
{c "Polymorph (head,apple);"
{a Don't forget the {esemi colon {a- a mistake made by many! If all goes well,
you should see the driver's head metamorphosise into an enourmous, rotting,
maggot-infested apple. {fImpressed? {aHere's the source...
{aSPTR Polymorph (dest,source)
char dest[];
int source;
{
int word,byte;
SPTR addr;
word = source>>4;
byte = source&15L;
addr = (SPTR) word+byte;
strcpy (addr,dest);
return (addr);
}
{aIf you use {eAztec C {ainstead of {fLattice {a(which is much better) you shall need
to change a couple of those ints to longs, of course! *addr is not needed as
{edest = &dest[0] {aand the same principle applies.
Well I hope you enjoyed your little trip into black magic. I'll be back
from the dead next issue with a bit about the tools of the trade... thumb
screws, torniquets and of course - children. {fUntil then, fellow demons!
{e Kiwi/Destiny
P.S. Look out for my next {cDTY {aproduction! And never forget, However sick you
may be - I'm {eSICKER{a!!!!